Tee up Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.
A perfect song.
The pinnacle of joy.
I dare you not to dance.
Literally every time this song comes up on shuffle (frequently) it gives me a huge dose of stoke. I can't help but feel the joy. Regardless of my mood, I'm dancing.
Save a Top 5 favorite (all time) song for a Top 5 (all time) favorite adventure story.
I'd been looking forward to returning to the slot canyons in Joshua Tree. One thing that sucks about Joshua Tree is the camping situation. Campsites are hard to get, and pretty densely packed. Nothing worse than a chorus of generators and little children screaming when you're out in nature. The slot canyons (Painted Canyon) are south of Joshua Tree in BLM. Open camping, pure nature, no generators, no children. A nice change of pace.
I was also ready for some epic nature treks with the homies. Solo is fun, but rocking with the homies is where it's at. Especially ones that are on the same page. If you go to JT with me, there's only one correct answer to the question "want some acid".
Real Stakes, Real Adventure
So we're on acid in Joshua Tree.
The day before I got a text with the weather report. 60% chance of thunderstorms the majority of the day. Not totally ideal to go on a big (slot canyon) hike and camp in thunderstorms. The trip almost fell through before it started. I had to do some convincing, and I sent this text:
"Dude, it's gunna be tight. Drugs, cool dudes, slot canyon hike, caves, games, big ass fire, whiskey, disc golf".
Somehow that worked. Game on.
The first part of the hike was very chill. Great weather, a network of extremely narrow slot canyons, with ropes and ladders that allowed you to scale from section to section. A few holes of object golf in the mix. Weather was perfect. Willy chose to wear sandals. We were killing it.
After a few hundred feet of elevation, we pop out on top of the canyon, with epic views back into the canyon, hosting monster hundred foot walls. Big nature. A very chill walk on top of the canyon, with Ocotillos sprinkled across the rolling hills, big sweeping views of the surrounding landscape. It was called painted canyon for a reason.
After about an hour, the light blue skies turned to very dark blue skies. The storm was coming. Lighting and rolling thunder consumed our sweeping views of the valley. We smoked a spliff, knowing that the storm was coming and our comfortable dry was likely transitioning to an uncomfortable wet. Things shifted quick.
From the first drop of rain to torrential downpour was a matter of minutes. The wind picked up. Huge rain walls hugging the canyon, beating us, no mercy. We were soaked within minutes. Willy was still wearing sandals.
We sat above the canyon, evaluating the situation. Things escalated extremely quickly.
Out of no where a waterfall erupted, dumping into the main canyon (epic). Then more waterfalls -- dozens in every direction (epic). Lightning was hitting close, as we were literally posted up in the cloud where the lightning was coming down (epic). Massive flares of yellow light with monster thunder (epic). Very quickly, the canyon wash became a river (epic). We were in the thick of a flash flood thunderstorm, in a canyon, stuck, miles from our car, which was hours from real safety.
Epic. and I mean Epic.
For 30 minutes, there was genuine cause for concern. It was raining so hard, we were soaked, and the intensity of the waterfalls and river got gnarlier and gnarlier. We had no idea how long it was going to last, we didn't have any good options. The three routes back to our car included two extremely narrow slot canyons and a main canyon that currently had a river flowing through it. There was a real possibility of us getting fucked. An extended standoff was a real possibility.
We decided it’d be best to walk to keep warm. A stopgap solution. It was tricky because we didn't want to hike in the river. We didn't want to walk on top of the canyon because of the lightning. We chose the "scenic route" about half way between the canyon edge and top trail. We didn't have a destination or plan. We just needed to walk it out.
Real stakes.
Real adventure.
We lucked out as the thick of the storm was really only 30 minutes and the rain thereafter was mellow. The waterfalls slowly subsided and the river slowly turned into a stream. We decided to take the second slot canyon back into the main canyon, the "scenic route". We had new obstacles in quicksand (epic). We moved quickly to avoid a second wave of the storm (safety first!), and I was ready to eat some Banh Mis that were waiting for us in our car. With hopes that my car wasn't washed away in the river.
Once again I'm teeing up Staying Alive by the Bee Gees. The dance party awaits.
So fun.
I have a deep and sincere appreciation for the people I was with. At no point did anyone freak out or go negative on the situation. That would have made things a lot worse. In that type of situation you have to have a deep level of calm and pragmatism. We're in this situation. We need to figure it out. There is no advantage to being negative, emotional, or frantic. Being level headed, pragmatic, and positive is the key. I was with two people who embodied level headed, pragmatic, and positive. Some pros.
We all walked out of the canyon stoked on the adventure. A big memory that will be with us forever.